Countdown to V-Day
Valentines Day. I hate it. I thought I hated it when I was single, but I was wrong. I need help.
Here is the dilemma: We don't like to go see movies because of people who feel the need to talk through the whole thing and we need to get a sitter, out to eat is out because we'd have to find a sitter, and I made him dinner last year so I don't want to do that again. The hardest part is that he is doing tax stuff during the day and his other job in the evening, I'll barely see him on Vday. He works really hard and I want to do something nice for him but I don't know what. HELP!!!
My dad would have been proud.
I replaced two, count them two toilet seats all by myself!!
The downstairs bathroom seat had a crack in it because Patton slammed them down. I duct taped it but it looked a little too redneck. I was at Target (yeah) the other day and found a toilet seat with the kid seat built in. You will only understand how cool this is if you have put a kid on the toilet and they have fallen in.
I learned...
...Patton doesn't like the taste of bubbles.
...Patton does like the taste of dog food.
...Isabella really likes red cream soda.
...Isabella goes a little crazy after drinking cream soda.
...a three year old remembers everything you wish they would forget.
...the people across the street and two houses down are even more psycho than I thought.
...it's really hard not to laugh when Isabella says "oh crap".
...Kitchen ice skating is not a sport for a reason.
...Isabella's face is not as tough as the kitchen floor. That was learned about five minutes ago.
...Isabella is a bleeder.
...Dove chocolate makes it better, even if your still bleeding. I agree.
...Thermacare heat patches are one of the best things ever created.
Countdown
To massage: 3 days, 23 hours 41 minutes.
To Acorn closing for tax season: 76 days, 1 hour, 11 minutes.
I might be stupid,
we'll see in a few weeks. I just gave Sandy(my mother-in-law and all around wonderful person)permission to do Isabella's bedroom however she and Isabella want. I know it's princess(shocker #1) and pink(shocker #2) and purple(shocker #3). I told her she was paying for it so she could do whatever she wanted. She was a little too happy. All I have to do is pull the wallpaper down(crapjob#1) and sand and prime the bug paintings(crapjob #2&3). I'll put pictures on when it's done.
Today Isabella put her shirt on backwards and when I told her she says"Oh crap". It was so hard not to laugh. I hate it when they do something really funny but bad. I think it's one of the hardest things about being a parent.
I'm cheating
This is from an email I was sent. You know I can't do this much math!
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:
* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month, or
* $171.08 a week
* That's a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.
Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sand castles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* Never stop believing in Santa Claus.
You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watching Saturday morning cartoons,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
*You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets
*collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas,
*hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day,
*cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
You get a front row seat to history to witness the:
* First step,
* First word,
* First bra,
* First date, and
* First time behind the wheel.
You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren.
You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.
In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price! Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren! What a bargain!
Yea toast! French Toast!
oui oui,monseiur bon jour croquetteuh
huh croissant chevy covertte
maurice chevalier eiffel tower
oh oui marie baguettue bon soir
FRENCH TOAST!
FRENCH TOAST!
yea TOAST!
-Haywood Banks, TOAST
(Does anyone else know that song?)
We had french toast for dinner tonight. Notice how happy my kids are. Patton wears it well. Did you see the toast on his head and syrup slicked hair and forehead? Good thing it was bath night!
Things I have discovered
-It is easier to cave in and take the baby out of the room at 1:30 A.M.
-The socks I bought Patrick for Christmas are really comfortable and warm. He will not be getting them back.
-I really hate snow. If you don't get a snow day out of it it's really not worth it!
-Isabella has no tact/volume. "Yes, Isabella that is a girl". "Because some women have hair on their face like Daddy". "Yes, I know there is hair on my mole, I'm taking care of it next week".
-Patton can now get stuff of the kitchen counter.
-I now have one less cereal bowl.
-Isabella is a good luck charm. She wanted an Instant lotto ticket(why I don't know, I think she liked the picture). I won $25.00.
-Isabella will now be picking lotto numbers for us.
-I'm starting to feel better about Patricks new job. I'm not as scared that it's going to fall through like the others.
-Patton can run. Fast.
-Patton will not laugh if I raspberry him. Only if I num-num him(for non-family members a num-num is where you act like you are going to raspberry but you say num-num).
-I find it really hard to say no to people.
-Sometimes I think I give more to some of my friends then I get in return.
-I have a lot of one-sided friendships, I only hear from them if they need something.
T-shirts
Okay, so Jess told me the address of the place that she got my t-shirt.
www.cafepress.comThere are some really funny shirts on there. Check it out.
Picture
Just for you Chrystal! I hope to have new ones this week.
Yeah!!
He just stopped. He cried for 45 minutes! I can't tell if he stayed laying down after my last trip in there or if he fell asleep in the corner. I'll check in 10 minutes, I want to be sure he's sleeping and not just laying there. I wonder how many times he'll wake up tonight.
Crying it out
Patton is waking up all hours of the night now and it is time for him to learn to get back to sleep by himself. He's been crying for about 20 minutes now, he's starting to do that hiccup thing and it's really sad. It is taking every ounce of self control for me to not go in there and pick him up. The hardest part is when I have to go in there to reassure him that he has not been abandoned for life and lay him back down. No talking, no eye contact. Time to lay him back down....
...I just broke his heart, again. I walked in there and he was standing at the corner of the crib and was so happy to see me, that feeling quickly went away since I was in there less than thirty seconds. God I hate this!!!!!!!!!
I get to do this every time he wakes up tonight and for however many nights it takes. I'm going to be the walking dead this week. Oh yeah, nap time too.
20 random things
1. I love bacon!! Hormel thick cut pepper bacon is the best.
2. I'm addicted to Coke(the drink not the drug).
3. I don't miss not being able to drink alcohol. When I do have a drink now the taste is too strong.
4. I collect martini glasses. Most of them have been purchased by Chrystal and Jessie.
5. I kiss Patton three times on the temple before I put him in his crib.
6. I still go look at my wedding dress. It's in the spare bedroom closet at my in-laws house and once every couple of month I go look at it.
7. I recently found out that one of my family members was not happy that my wedding dress wasn't white. It was only one shade off white, I was being truthful!
8. I want his daughter to wear my dress when she gets married. Because I love the dress and because I love her so much.
9. I think he is a better than thou religious nut.
10. A few weeks ago I found some stuff out about him and no longer respect him.
11. I now regret calling him on fathers day. After Dad died he was the next thing to a father I had.
12. I won't have anyone to call next fathers day.
13. His daughter just moved far away, I miss her more that I expected.
14. It was the best decision she has ever made. I hope everything works for her.
15. I hope she know that if it doesn't work she doesn't have to go back home. My couch is better that that place.
16. Sometimes I want another baby. This is usually while watching
Baby Story.17.
Baby Story is on during nap time.
18. Then the kids wake up and I remember why we're not having more kids.
19. I know how to knit. I suck at it.
20. I need a new hobby. I don't have one anymore and my life is being consumed by my kids.
Help!!!
Because I'm the biggest computer retard ever, will someone please tell me how to put pictures on this thing. I know everyone wants to see the cutest kids ever.
Belly-girl strikes again!
Last night Isabella was playing with this foam hopscotch thing that she got for Christmas. She put it upside down and was walking back and forth on it singing a song about a fashion show. She stops at the end and says Mom look how stylish I am. I laughed and asked her if that was her catwalk and she just looks at me like I'm nuts, then crouches down and starts to meow. I explain what a catwalk is and she seems to understand. After dinner she was playing on it again and I hear her singing a song about her kittywalk. My daughter is
special.
This morning I let the dog outside and when I came in I took my shoes off so I wouldn't get snow all over the house. A little later I was playing on the floor with Patton and I feel something very cold being smeared all over my back and then sliding down the back of my pants. The brat was getting the snow off my shoes and putting it all over me. Patrick found this very amusing. I'm putting snow down his pants later to see if he still thinks it's funny.
On the bright side of things I almost have full range of motion again with my neck. I just have to be careful not to move it too fast. I guess that means no more all day reading and I'll have to do dishs and laundry and all that fun stuff. Crap.
Sometimes pain is good
For the past few days I've had a really stiff neck, I can't do anything that requires turning the head. I had to go to the store yesterday and it was awful!
On the bright side I have done A LOT of reading. Since Saturday I have read three and a half books. Because of the kids and house it usually take me a couple weeks a book. I forgot how many books I read before kids. Now all the books I read take three minutes(unless Chrystal bought them for Isabella, then they take 10) and have pictures.
Patton is crying for a nap.
My duty
It is my duty to my husband(and his paycheck)to let you know that when Acorn Financial does your taxes and then you tell someone and we do their taxes YOU get a $25. BP gas card. No limit on how many cards you can get. If you (or the people you tell) live a little too far from Acorn let me know, in special cases (people I love)we will do pick up and delivery. I'm also supposed to tell you that the earlier you do it the quicker you will get a refund (if your getting one) in some cases, if you efile you can have it in 8-21 business days(usually about 10).
Spread the word, I need new clothes, I'm really starting to look like a mom. There I'm done.
This is boring, just skip it!
I get to talk to adults tonight!! My neighbor is having a MaryKay party and I get to go. Patrick is even getting home early tonight. This will probably be the last time this happens until tax season is over. Starting next week this will be his/our week: Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at the Acorn tax office from 9-2 and 3-10 at AIL field sales. Tuesday and Friday 8:30-1 at AIL, business lunch and then field sales until 9 or 10. Saturday 9 or 10-2 at Acorn and sometimes he will do AIL field sales after that until about 7. Sunday Sleep(unless his overworked wife makes him get up, she is so mean). April 15 come quick!!
I'm not the only one!!!
Jodi asked if I had cameras in her house. It makes me glad(and sad) that my life is not the only dull, kid filled one.
Speaking of kids.
Isabella had chocolate ice cream the other day and spilled some down her shirt. She wiped herself off and she missed a spot. I told her that she missed a spot in her chest and as she was wiping it off she says,"Mommy, I love my little boobies. Aren't they so cute?". I didn't know what to say.
On the bright side of things, we went to Target and she only did one very mild embarrassing thing and there was only one woman. I was looking at bras and one that I was looking at was all lace, she told me not to get it because people can still see your boobies.
Patton is getting mad at me now. Baby boy needs attention. Just like a man.
Am I a bad daughter
My mom called me the other day and asked me about my dads ashes. She still has them because he never wanted a big thing made out of him dying, to him it was just part of life. She asked me if I needed something to be done with them for me to have closure. I didn't. I'm done with it. It's not like I don't miss him, I think of him at least once a day and there are times that I pick up the phone to call him. It's why my mom is calling me, there are people in my family that NEED something to be done with them and she wanted my opinion. He is gone, it is a box of ashes it is not him. He always said to dump him in the garden and I think that's what we should do. When my grandma died she didn't want anything done and we did something anyway and the whole thing felt wrong and I don't want the same thing to happen with Dad.
Chrystal wants a little of him to put someplace that was special to the two of them, that's fine, he'd like that. I'd like to have a little to take to Alaska someday because he always wanted to go there and I know that there is a backroad in Florida that he'd like to be put on the side of. Is it wrong to put him in a lot of little boxes so each person can have their own thing? Am I demented?
Ky Not so warm warming massage oil
How boring is my life? Here is your answer:
I found out about KY warming massage oil because I found coupon for it. Patrick was very disappointed when I told him why I was buying it!
Three things for you to know
1. Patton's head and body got stuck in the garbage can. He really is a special boy.
2. It was KY warming massage oil. Don't get it, I didn't feel any warmth. I got it for my sore neck you gutter minded rats!!
3. For Christmas I got a t-shirt that says: I love my geek and my dorky kids. I want to wear it everyday.
Dear Anonymous
Why do people post comments as anonymous? I'd like to thank anonymousfor calling my life little and pathetic. At least I'm not leaving anonymous comments on a blog of someone I don't know. Grow some balls and use your own name!
My life may be boring and I complain about it but it is the life that I have CHOSEN and I love it. Pathetic, no. Little, no. I'm raising to future members of society. What are you doing that is so unpathetic an not little? What makes your life so grand? How are you leaving your mark on the world?
The kids got hair cuts yesterday. Patton looks like a little man with his first real haircut. Isabella's hair is almost long enough for ropes(braids).
My son, being the genius that he is just got stuck in a garbage can. I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants.
When I get online the first thing I do is read my sisters blogs. I need to stop doing this because by the time I finish reading I feel my life is really boring and then I have nothing to write about.
Yesterday Isabella announced to the Wal-Mart pharmacy that I have KY warming liquid and that I keep it in the table by my bed. I love my life.
How to loose 10lbs. in 7 days
Get the flu. That's what I did. All of us had it, it's a great way to start off a new year. I of course got it the worst but still had to take care of the kids because when they are sick all they want is Mommy. Patrick tried to help as much as he could but I made him sleep because he has to go to work, he doesn't get sick days and all that stuff. By the time Saturday rolled around I had a major I need sleep meltdown and went to be at the same time as Patton.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATTON!!!
He turned one one the 30th.
