Am I a bad daughter
My mom called me the other day and asked me about my dads ashes. She still has them because he never wanted a big thing made out of him dying, to him it was just part of life. She asked me if I needed something to be done with them for me to have closure. I didn't. I'm done with it. It's not like I don't miss him, I think of him at least once a day and there are times that I pick up the phone to call him. It's why my mom is calling me, there are people in my family that NEED something to be done with them and she wanted my opinion. He is gone, it is a box of ashes it is not him. He always said to dump him in the garden and I think that's what we should do. When my grandma died she didn't want anything done and we did something anyway and the whole thing felt wrong and I don't want the same thing to happen with Dad.Chrystal wants a little of him to put someplace that was special to the two of them, that's fine, he'd like that. I'd like to have a little to take to Alaska someday because he always wanted to go there and I know that there is a backroad in Florida that he'd like to be put on the side of. Is it wrong to put him in a lot of little boxes so each person can have their own thing? Am I demented?
posted by Cathy @ 2:44 PM
3 Comments:
I can see how many little boxes is a bit disturbing. Perhaps taking him in full box to the different locations and placing some of the ashes, transfering from the ONE box/vase/container/etc.
The easy part is deciding that you want to be cremated; I want that also. The hard part is what you do with all of it!
I told my students to spread me out on the baseball diamond so at games when the wind stirs up they know it is me. That, Dear Cathy, is DEMENTED :)
You are not a bad daughter; I told Mom the same thing. Dealing with death is a very personal thing that each person has to decide how to best handle.
I took a poll of my friends and they said splitting up ashes is very common. They'd all heard of it before. It's cool.
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